The Top 5 Hottest On-Screen Dentists
Listen, we know what the people want here at My Social Practice. We’re not just dedicated to skyrocketing your dental SEO or designing the most kick-ass dentist website for your practice. We know you’ve all been clamoring for a numbered, ranked list that settles, once and for all, the most hotly debated and controversial topic in the dental world.
Clear aligner use at home? No. The treatment of pregnant patients? Of course not. The practice of routine community water fluoridation? Ha! Don’t make us laugh.
No, we’re dedicated to raising awareness about a question that really matters: who, of the limited media depictions of dentists, is the sexiest dentist of all? Join us for a thorough, ambitious, and brave ranking of the top five.
Number 5: Wilbur Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Dr. Wilbur Wonka is the severe, candy-hating estranged father of Willy Wonka in the kind of creepy 2005 Tim Burton film Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Dr. Wonka isn’t in the 1971 version, he’s not in the book, and he’s kind of a jerk, all things considered. But he’s played by the undeniably compelling Christopher Lee, and we’re pretty sure we can fix him.
Pros:
- Has a very well-trimmed beard.
- You can pretend he is Saruman or Count Dooku if you find the mean dentist thing too evil.
- Was secretly very proud of Willy and we think that’s nice.
Cons:
- Would probably throw your Halloween candy in the trash.
- Desperately needs therapy and probably won’t go.
- Abandoned his kid which we think is not nice.
Sexiest Quotes:
“You know, just last week, I was reading in a very important medical journal that some children are allergic to chocolate. Makes their noses itch.”
“Do you have an appointment?”
Number 4: Jeremy Jamm, DDS, Parks and Recreation
Okay, yes, technically Jeremy Jamm is an orthodontist, but we still think he counts and this is our list. Anyway, Dr. Jamm sits on the Pawnee City Council and drives a cool yellow sports car. Yes, he uses his political influence for his own benefit, but we like going for rides in fast cars, so we’ll let it slide.
Pros:
- Loves to sing Grease karaoke. What a fun guy.
- Also has a beard. We may have a thing for beards.
- Also a Hibachi chef…
Cons:
- …Who makes sushi with tuna salad.
- Objectively very annoying.
Sexiest Quotes:
“You just got Jammed.”
“I do love watching you guys squabble over me. You sure make a guy feel like a real lady.”
“I regret nothing, the end.”
Number 3: Hermey the Elf, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Stop, stop! Don’t close this blog post, okay? It’s not weird, just listen. You know what’s sexier than being a real-life human and not a stop-motion Christmas special character? Having a dream.
Hermey is a renegade. A rebel with a cause. An elf who knows that he can be who he wants to be, and dammit, that’s a dentist.
Pros:
- His best friend is Rudolph and he definitely is tight with Santa Claus.
- Not afraid to express himself through song.
Cons:
- Is technically an inanimate object.
- Not very good at making Christmas toys.
Sexiest Quotes:
“I’ve been studying. It’s fascinating; you’ve no idea. Molars and bicuspids and incisors…”
“Hey, what do you say we both be independent together, huh?”
Number 2: Tim Whatley, Seinfeld
Before playing an overqualified chemistry teacher turned drug lord in Breaking Bad, Bryan Cranston played one of tv’s sexiest dentists: Dr. Tim Whatley. A charismatic dentist with great hair and a thrower of exceptional parties, Tim runs an adults-only dental practice that seems like it might be a fun time, if you’re into that sort of thing.
Pros:
- Donated money to charity in place of Christmas gifts. He’s a humanitarian.
- Sometimes takes a hit of laughing gas before giving it to his patients. Risk-taker.
- Dentist to the stars.
Cons:
- May have converted to Judaism just for the jokes.
- He has a Penthouse magazine right out in the open on the waiting room table.
- Re-gifter.
Sexiest Quotes:
“Oh, I’m just getting warmed up. Because I’m just a sadist with newer magazines.”
“You remember Mr. Thirsty.”
Number 1: Philip Sherman, Finding Nemo
The salt and pepper hair. The accent. The well-meaning but misguided love of marine life. Is it any wonder the scuba king of Sydney himself tops our list of hottest on-screen dentists?
…Yes, maybe. But that doesn’t change the fact that Dr. Philip Sherman would be our number one pick on a “hear me out” cake.
Pros:
- A very caring uncle.
- One of his patients is the Prime Minister of Australia so you know he’s good.
- We feel it important to once again mention the accent.
Cons:
- Tries to save fish, actually separates them from their dads.
- Nothing else, the man is nearly perfect.
Sexiest Quotes:
“Good thing I pulled the right one, eh, Prime Minister?”
Everything. Again. See: accent.
Honorable Mention: Crentist the Dentist, The Office
He’s not real but wouldn’t it be fun to date a dentist named Crentist?
Which Dentist is Sexiest?
Do you agree with our assessment? Did we leave anyone out? Too bad, we will not be taking criticism, this is a definitive and legally-binding list as determined by the experts in dental marketing at My Social Practice.
Now the only question that remains is whether our writer will be fired for ranking a Pixar character above Hermey the elf. Join us next time for an impassioned defense of her actions, or if you’re just here for help with dental SEO and you’re not sure why you’re reading this nonsense, schedule a consultation and we promise someone very serious and good at their job will reach out soon.
Frequently Asked Questions
How did you determine this incredibly accurate ranking?
Our writer employed a complex, well-researched, and ground-breaking formula designed to weigh multiple crucial factors. We then watched many YouTube clips, rigorously compared the sexiest dental scenes in media, and deleted our browser history before anyone found us searching for “sexy dentist scenes.”
But what about (insert favorite tv dentist here)?
Not every sexy TV dentist can be represented in this list, unfortunately. Only the elite, the cream of the crop, the best of the best make the list. Also, we forgot some of them. Sorry.
What about sexy dental specialists? Where are the sexy periodontists?
We’re planning a thorough campaign to bring attention to the criminal under-representation of hot dental specialists in media. We realize how a lack of diversity in such depictions can have a serious negative effect on the entire institution of ranked dental lists online and are dedicated to righting this wrong. Sign up for our newsletter to learn more about how you can help in the vital cause of sexy dental specialty representation where you can sign a petition demanding equality in media just as soon as our boss lets us send out the email. (For some reason he doesn’t think this issue is as important as AI in dentistry or dental social media news, but our writers bravely continue fighting.)
How did you get this blog post published? Is this a serious article?
We find it very easy to publish whatever we want so long as we apologize very nicely and/or don’t tell anyone until it’s too late. You’re welcome!
About the Author: Megan Nielsen is an SEO strategist and the Grand Overlord of copywriting at My Social Practice. My Social Practice is a dental marketing company that offers a full suite of dental marketing services to thousands of dental practices throughout the United States and Canada.
